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christopher gutierrez
"well allow me to retort" 
2nd-Mar-2004 02:32 pm
and i ask you, what was the intent of this journal?
to stir shit up. the previous post was meant to do just that. i purposely didnt post or reply because i wanted to see just out of hand it could get...and because this is first and foremost here to amuse me.
ive said it before, if you have to explain your point twice you obviously didnt present it well in the first place. well what i said was honest and it came with anger. why? first i think i should give you a bit of background on me, this may help you understand why i feel the way i feel.
im dropping the age card here which breaks rule # 57 in the punk rock handbook (and for the record there is no physical handbook you literal ding-dongs). because we all know that your age or how many years you've been going to shows is no indication of conviction or sincerity. i went to my first punk rock show in 1988. i first X'ed up my hands in 1989. does this mean that i feel that im better than anyone? no. im a lame fuck, if any of you knew me you would laugh...so there goes that argument. but what you do gain is experience. heres a few facts ive learned over the years:
1. if you call yourself straight edge, chances are you wont be next year.
2. if you are...you wont be in 5 years.
3. and if you are you probably wont be in 10 years.
4. the flames that burn the brightest burn out the fastest. meaning, the ones who yell in your face about drinking will probably be the first in line at the frat party beer bong contest when they turn 21.
this goes for my friends also. you know how many people i know in chicago who still consider themselves edge since 1989? 3. yep, only 3...not a very good record. so all of you who want to see someone break, just wait. its happens to 99% of em.
now the big question: why do i call myself straight edge and what does it mean to me?
understand this. there is no one true definition of straight edge. what it is to me will probably be completely different to how boo or jim or pete see it. edge is one basic premise, a lifetime commitment to abstain from drinking, smoking and drugs. i personally agree with the legendary 90s band RAID when they say that straight edge is a platform to build upon. me, i see it as an opportunity to open doors for self-discovery. to re-write and re-draft my life. to constantly ask why. why i look the way i do, why i live the life i do, why i love who i love, why i find something attractive and yet not another, to confront my fears and to form honest and lasting relationships. for me it is the personal. for others it may be political. nowhere does it say to preach. those kids represent a small minority and will likely be gone in 5 years or when they turn 21, whichever comes first. if i come off preaching, its not because im straight edge...its because im an asshole. when XbigbuttX signs on and replies to your post and talks shit, its not because he or she is straight edge, its because XbigbuttXs parents didnt teach the poor kid how to elaborate and express their feelings very well.
are there edge kids who are assholes? sure. just like every other group of people. and just like any other group of people, you can focus on the few of that group who give them a bad name and twist it to fit whatever position you take.
now why am i straight edge?
ok, let me pose you this question. have you ever banged your peepee with a hammer? probably not. why? because it would hurt and probably injure your body, right? this is the way i see drinking, drugs etc. ive seen what it can do to families, relationships and how it can tear peoples lives apart. ive seen car crashes, been to funerals, hear the date rape stories, seen drive bys, seen people get beatup, seen kids get beaten and seen mothers being beaten...all with the driving force of alcohol. and just like the hammer, it just doesnt make sense. when i was 14 and punker than fuck, what was the most punk thing you could do? go get fucked up? fuck no. it was going to parties and when someone asks why i didnt drink, without preaching just saying why i chose not to. it fucks with people. because drinking should be rebellion, right? yet how is it rebellion when everyones doing it, even your parents? i say fuck their shitty pseudo rebellion, and i still do. buying into alcohol and tobacco companies is the most un-punk thing you can do. you have no idea how many times i was pushed around, punched, got my car keyed, house egged...just because people cant get out of that high school mentality of "you dont fit in". whats even worse are the adults who never grow out of that.
do i hate people who drink? fuck no. stevefromchi is the best dude ever to grace your computer screen and that dude rules when hes drunk. and from time to time so does my girlfriend. do i care if you drink? no, i couldnt give a shit. but ill tell you when i do.
when my girlfriend cant walk home because the bars just let out.
when my friends girlfriend get pushed down by drunk adults.
when my mom gets rear-ended by a drunk driver.
when my friends get beaten up.
when i get called a faggot just walking in front of the bars.
when the frat boys call me a "pussy" for not drinking.
when girls dont consider it "going out" unless alcohol is involved.
when people dont know how to be themselves with out beer.
when i get harassed waiting on tables of drunk cubs fans.
when i know that driving after midnight on a saturday night/sunday morning 2 out of every 3 drivers are legally drunk.
when i hear about football players date raping girls.
when i hear about the frat boys gang-banging passed out girls.
when alcohol or drugs are involved in over 80% of the felonys committed in the US every year.
when i hear people laugh about getting their third DUI.
thats when i care. thats when i get angry. thats when i make shitty, angry posts. and guess what? i dont care if you are an alcoholic or not, if you're mature enough to make the decision to pick up that bottle then you should be mature enough to face the conseqences. because if you're out driving drunk and my mom, or my sister or my friends or my girlfriend is directly threatened by your lack of self-control, if your actions directly threaten the well being of anyone i love...then fuck you. yes, fuck you i hope your mother dies of fucking cancer and you choke on your own vomit.
and if that makes me an elitest...then so be it.

"you tell me that i make no difference, but at least im fucking trying...
what the fuck have you done?"
-in my eyes, MINOR THREAT.
2nd-Mar-2004 02:36 pm (UTC)
Thank You for the wonderful elaboration. Maybe some people will fucking understand and not be so fucking argumentative. Honestly I hate drinking, I hate people who drink, I have seen all the shit you have seen (minus the drive by) because of it. I dont really want to see that shit anymore. But if people do their drinking responsible and don't drink like a fucking lush then we wouldn't have a problem. I don't want the whole world to be fucking sXe, I just want people to use some responsibility when they do choose to drink...

or drink rootbeer kegs :)
2nd-Mar-2004 02:57 pm (UTC)

ok, i think you may have misunderstood me.
i encourage the arguments, or discussions. thats what makes this fun, debate.
and i never said i hated people who drink. that would mean i hate most of the people i hang out with.

shit, maybe i do.
2nd-Mar-2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
enough said.
2nd-Mar-2004 02:56 pm (UTC) - re: allow me to retort
Great job,as usual, Chris!! You state your case extremely well. I have a lot of admiration for someone with such strong convictions. I'm sure you had a lot of fun sitting back and watching the shit storm, though!
2nd-Mar-2004 02:58 pm (UTC) - Re: allow me to retort

"shit storm"


...haha, thats the old skool heychris right there.
2nd-Mar-2004 03:02 pm (UTC)
i applaud you.
2nd-Mar-2004 03:05 pm (UTC)
2nd-Mar-2004 04:10 pm (UTC) - RAID???
what do you hate gay people now?

For those of you that don't know Raid was a hardline band from memphis. Hardline is similar to sxe, but also it encompasses being vegan and being against the act of homosexuality.

go askheychris about that.

-sean muttaqai
2nd-Mar-2004 04:19 pm (UTC) - Re: RAID???

thats funny.
seeing as how my roommate (funeralmarch) is gay.

and he loves RAID.
and has a hardline tattoo on his leg.

Sarcasm? - Anonymous - Expand
Re: Sarcasm? - Anonymous - Expand
2nd-Mar-2004 04:41 pm (UTC) - Re:
"i dont care if you are an alcoholic or not"

some people do care, and these are the people who matter and make a difference in the world. all you do is bitch.
2nd-Mar-2004 06:03 pm (UTC) - Re:
that made no fucking sense.
Re: - Anonymous - Expand
Re: - Anonymous - Expand
Re: - Anonymous - Expand
Re: - Anonymous - Expand
2nd-Mar-2004 05:03 pm (UTC)
i agree with everything you said. all of the drinking, drugs, etc does ruin families and friendships..unfortunately my family had to find that out the hard way. my reasons for being straight edge are personal because i dont think anyone should have to go through the things i saw in my family.

unfortunately people are gonna do what they want and im not gonna stop them cause it's not my place but hopefully someday people will see what they do to themselves when they are out having fun.

thanks for saying all that and being honest. it made my night.
2nd-Mar-2004 05:08 pm (UTC)
thank you for that. sincerely.
2nd-Mar-2004 07:06 pm (UTC)
when the frat boys call me a "pussy" for not drinking.
when girls dont consider it "going out" unless alcohol is involved.
when people dont know how to be themselves with out beer.

amen to this. it sounds like every kid in my school.
8th-Mar-2004 12:17 am (UTC)
i serisouly doubt you are ever around any "frat" boys, and even if you are i doubt they give 2 shits about what you are doing! i hear you straight edge people and (according to my opinion) weird looking people like chris talk about being stereotyped according to appearance. you'll dont have anything on "frat" boys. every fraternity has different values... yeah there are some that are all about partying and getting drunk, but that doesnt mean that every fraternity is like that. but you'll dont see that and wont take the time to figure that out. every "frat" boy is the same and will always be the same in your eyes
2nd-Mar-2004 07:11 pm (UTC) - Dude...
Someone who fucking gets it...
2nd-Mar-2004 08:39 pm (UTC) - that was really insightful.
were you wasted when you wrote that?
2nd-Mar-2004 08:49 pm (UTC) - Re: that was really insightful.

i should have been.
but alas...im a pussy.
2nd-Mar-2004 09:36 pm (UTC) - a few things
1) well said dxs.
2) your same reasoning for disliking drugs and alcohol are the same reasons that i dislike drugs and alcohol. if used irresponsibly (and habitually) they can be a catalyst for very unacceptable and harmful behavior.
3) i can think a few more than three people that are still edge and in their late twenties/early thirties in this town... maybe not friends of yours per se, but there are still people out there.
4) RAID - put out some bad stuff, put out some AWESOME stuff.

"STRAIGHT EDGE - is more than just a guide
a commitment to help us survive.
it's so easy to fuck up your life
it's not cool it's all just hype."
2nd-Mar-2004 10:02 pm (UTC) - yeah
can i just say something. i am 18. and i have jsut realized in the last couple weeks that i am an alcoholic. i agree with everything that you guys have said. i dont like people puttin other people in danger by driving while screwed up and doin other things to hurt people while they are screwed up. i dont think i am a bad person. i pray that i am not a bad person. but some people dont have the will power you do. i dont. i am starting alcohol classes this week. i hope that i will help me with my problem. i just got a DUI a couple weeks ago. i have realized that i have put so many people in danger with the stupid shit i do. it could be your mother, your friend or just someone you love. i used to never think about it like that. but i am not a strong person. i give into shit like alcohol and pot really easily. i try not to buy i am not that strong. to all of you straight edge kids out ther i give you props. what i would give to have never tried pot or alcohol. i would give anything. i hope that i can deal with this and put it past me.i got into a really bad accident on halloween. the guy i was with was drunk and i was so messed up on Xanax and alcohol i cant remember what happened. but i do know i almost died.i was in the hospital for a while and i was stuck in my house for almost 3 months after that. i was not aloud to step foot out of my house. could not get in a car. could hardly get around the house. it was doctors orders that i couldnt leave. you think that would teach me. well it didnt. how fucked up is that. some people are not as strong as you are. im sorry for all the shit ive done. and i hope that i can get better. but i need help and you have to realize that you (Straight edge people) ARE better than every one else. at least thats my thought. you have the will power to take control of your life unlike other. so be proud of that. dont bitch at people for there mistakes but take pride in that you are not like me and the rest of the other people like me out there.
2nd-Mar-2004 10:29 pm (UTC) - Re: yeah
don't sell yourself short so quickly though because even though you've made some poor choices, you could potentially learn a lot from the classes you are about to take. 18 is still really young and not too late to change your ways if that is what you want to do, you know? having a drinking problem doesn't make you a bad person, it's been proven that it's genetic and although fighting genetics is hard and technically speaking, you will ALWAYS be an alcoholic (because you were from the day you were born), YOU are the one who controls your actions and your fate. at least that's what i believe.
Remember - Anonymous - Expand
3rd-Mar-2004 12:13 am (UTC) - awsome
that was probaly one of the best things i have ever read. very well put, maybe you should run for president you seem like one of the few ppl that have their shit together =-)
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