we are constantly bombarded by friends, parents, teachers, bands, bloggers to stand up for what we believe, to make our voices heard and to not become just another common boring person. but for every rant, for every vote and for every opinion its unreasonable to believe that someone, somewhere will not be offended.
welcome to my life.
understandably, i have come off on more than one occasion as an elitist, arrogant, obstinate jerk. its what comes along with being assertive and having an opinion. and over the years ive drawn a line in the sand between us and "them".
because these rooms, this music, this culture and community was not created with the intent that it was for everyone. but see, just by saying that ive offended someone. but it is the truth nonetheless.
see, the popular kids have their proms, the athletic kids have their trophies and games, the well-adjusted adults have their families and secure jobs, the motivated have their course, the skinny have no problems finding clothes that fit, the intelligent, the attractive, the wealthy, the privileged, the educated, the loved, the appreciated... they have their place.
and i wont hate on that.
good for them for not having to truly struggle and claw and fight their way up against injustice and intolerance and lifes steady stream of a dog shit river. thank god there are people out there who know love and understanding and dont have to close their eyes so hard at night in order to force the memories of abuse and rape out of their minds. i couldnt be happier for people who will never know what its like to go without electricity or clothes or food. for the people who will never have to take a pill just so they can make sense of it all. and im sure that spotlight at the prom or scoring that winning touchdown or restful nights or the looks of envy the pretty people get feels pretty fucking good, even if its for one shallow second. and hey, truthfully, i am happy they are allowed those moments.
but there are many out there that dont.
there are many of us out there who wear the faces and clothes, we talk the talk and feign the walk but we dont. and we never have. and we dont want the world to know this about us.
and there are many of us out there who have never felt the warmth of that spotlight. the real touch of a parent. the shared dreamy eyes of someone who is so fucking in love with us that we could die in that moment.
and there are those of us out there who have had to lie, cheat and steal just to feel full at the end of the day.
those of us who had to kick down doors just to be heard.
those of us who have never been given a second of attention, so we screamed and yelled and stood on top of our desks and took it.
and those of us who would kill for an education if only we could afford one.
you call it a band, a venue and a friday night.
but we call it our soundtrack, our home and the only life we know.