i am often asked about my friends. who they are, what they do, what is their role, and the like. now, if you've been following this journal for long enough you may have seen a picture or 12 of fruity or videos of johns hairy ass. and thats all well and fine. but each day as my friends list grows, i receive comments like, "well, who the fuck is jack or reeree?" and the sort. so, in an attempt to educate you, the reader, and give you the opportunity to further invade my life and privacy, i will do my best (which by all accounts is comparable to a solid C minus) to give you the cast of characters.
now, before i proceed, i must state for the record that this list is not all inclusive nor does it necessarily reflect who my "best" friends are. it is merely a list of people in my life that are close to my heart; whether there by their own fruition, guilt or by threat, these people sometimes grace my couch and yell obscenities at my television during commercial breaks of 'to catch a predator'. also, this list is not a ranking, i dont need euro nicole commenting that she didnt get top billing...i wouldnt want to embarrass her by telling the thousands of you that will undoubtedly fumble your way through my rantings with additional information that her family is a bunch of goat herders.
aliases: johndestroy (said as one word; see story below). john enough gold. john knockout. j.regan.
- i met john when he played guitar in the poppunk band 'knockout' back in the day. he was a smug fuck that was an asshole to everyone, somehow, we got along. we were forced to be friends because FOBs were always opening for knockout and i would always see his hairy ass walking around. he lived in wentz' closet for months and was always over at their apt and he was a straight up dude so we always got to talking. fast forward a few years to when he played guitar in the underrated yet legendary chicago hardcore outfit: not enough gold. after this he was a homeless dude sleeping on couch to couch for a few years while designing cds and shirts for a bunch of famous dudes, then he designed and laid out my book and cd. he has an insane ego but so do i. hes kind of like the dude you would either stab each or get along with splendidly. currently, john works as an inhouse designer for victory records and avoids my phone calls.
aliases: big fruity. the fruit. peteythepunk. fruity dog. pete the mo. shakes. fruit bat. deadbeat roommate.
- i met fruity when he was a little kid who would steal his moms car to go to shows. he always had a smile, ridiculous hair and a little too much energy but he was nice and always pitted hard despite the old dudes. when he turned 16 the local independent record store 'the clubhouse' gave in to his pestering and gave the little fucker a job. i was always in the store selling bootleg VHS tapes (and that story is in my upcoming book) and his happy ass was always asking about the band i was in, arma angleus. he always came out to the show and pitted and finger pointed so he was gold stars in my book. you can see a young blonde fruity in the last arma show if you youtube search 'arma angelus'. anyway, he got tossed out of his apt for whatever reason and charlie had just ditched out on me to go travel the world so fruity dog moved in. we have lived together for over a year and in that time he has paid his share of the rent on time once. yes, one single time. he also doesnt realize that you have to continue to pay this every month. how this escapes him is beyond my comprehension. fruity is currently on tour with the 'taste of chaos' selling merch for shirts for a cure and avoiding paying the bills. he has also done merch stints with halifax and aiden.
aliases: reeree. irene. ireereene. reeree926. dottie dangerous.
- i was first introduced to ree when she was my manager for peapod, an online grocery delivery service that i delivered for. she listened to limp bizkit, dont let her tell you anything different. then i quit and began waiting tables so i told her to follow me and she did. there our relationship blossomed and we bonded over hating people, spitting in peoples drinks and american nightmare. i moved to the city and convinced her to be my roommate, which she was for an entire year, although the last 2 months she refused to speak to me and hated my guts for serious. she then moved out and charlie moved in. me and ree didnt talk for over a year because she wouldnt stop sending me mean ass 'nyree' emails. (if you're at all close with her you know exactly what i mean. she likes to go on 5 page diatribes about how "selfish" and "arrogant" you are. pray that you never get one of these.) anywho, we made up because i was the bigger person and i continue to hold this over her head as often as the situation arises. currently she lives down the street with johndestroy and barely tolerates my existence, but still manages to be kind enough to invite me out to hang. although, i think that is strictly based upon the fact that i own DDR and she doesnt.
aliases: cronin. cro-dog. cro-douche. dave sweet. dave enough gold.
- im still not too sure where i met cronin. probably through j.regan because they were in not enough gold together. hes a good enough dude when hes not avoiding my calls to get me on the list for whatever 2*sweet show is going on. cronin is also in down like the rest and suburban murda. he makes me cut his hair about every 15 minutes or so and has paid me in a piece or two (not an entire pizza, mind you) maybe once in the past year. so, lets do the math. basically i give this motherfucker a hair cut for a bite of old chicagos pizza. yeah, sounds about right. either way, i never listen to him when he tells me what he wants and i just cut it the way i see fit so i suppose it all works out in the end. hes a happy dude when hes on stage and a mopy little girl when hes not (ask j.regan). he also likes TONS of bad music and will debate the merits of nu-metal and the likes of KORN at the drop of a hat. solid dude though. i back him.
aliases: jack october fall (ouch, sorry), jack is what we aim for. jackmarin. little buddy jack.
- i met jack one day when a certain ex friend of mine said, "see that dude on stage?" i responded, "yeah." he said, "everyone says he looks like a little ME." i said, "i could see that (at the time he did)." he said, "good lookin kid." we laughed. jack was uber nice when i met him and we clicked right away. i totally would have smoked his pole if i liked balls and such, sadly, im addicted to vagina and boobs. jack was in a band called october fall and he was the sole reason (as with most people) for liking the band, although they did have a handful of good songs. the assholes in that band tossed him and he began tour managing panic! at the disco then managing hellogoodbye. then i found out that forest is a condescending prick and i told him, after warped tour he quit to play bass in cute is what we aim for. good band, terrible name. when jack is actually home we sit around his and emilys condo eating pizza and watching terrible reality tv. we also go to flattop for stir fry alot. jack likes clothes and meticulously folds everything so its almost painful to watch. hes got good taste in music and knows how to take care of his friends.
aliases: KGspecial. gheesling.
- gheesling is a straight up civilian. two years ago she was like, "my boyfriend took me to go see some 'falloutboy' band." to which i found adorable in the way like when your parents use words like, "dope" and "fo shizzle". we met strangely though this LJ even though shes a grown ass woman. shes totally neurotic and makes an ungodly amount of money to which she can only account for with starbucks and cigarettes. when not dealing with herself shes surprisingly level-headed and gives me damn near the best and most accurate advice i have ever gotten. we get along like brother and sister. even when we were both single she slept over in my bed and nothing even remotely sexual happened. weird, right? either way, i dont get to see her as much as i would like, seeing as how she lives in the suburbs of detroit and is busy working in a cubicle during the day and thrashing her way through detroits finest bars at night.
aliases: euro-nicole. xnicolex.
- xnicolex will perpetually be that 15 year old girl in my mind. even when i see her at work i think its cute, like when your little brother does something that big people do like pretending to wash dishes or when a baby puts a beer bottle up to their mouth. we met at shows because she was an OG chicago pop punk fan. when you hear the stories of fob talking about playing in front of 10 people back in the day, yeah, xnicolex was one of them. she keeps it real (real shitty) by being the last person in chicago to like ska (and yes she does skank). while she will talk your ass off (all you have to do is interject every minutes with, "man, thats crazy.") but she is a fucking genius with a camera. how? hey, you gots me seeing as how her family is fresh off the boat from romania or poland or some weird eastern euro third world country, i think they have a horse drawn plow in the front yard, i swear. other than being a weird beard, shes got good taste in most things and is an amazing supporter of all that is good. shes a solid bro.
aliases: s.kane. stevekane.
- s.kane was an OG scene kid from back in the day. if you watch that same arma video on youtube you can see his ass standing on the right side of the stage when we played hellfest in 2000. we met from going to shows and what not. this kid has a serious head on his shoulders when hes not getting drunk and yelling through the bar, "i am fucking untouchable." he currently plays bass in down like the rest and is a freelance writer for punk planet, impose magazine and other publications. yes, hes an actual writer, not like my loud mouthed ass. i cut his hair about the same amount i cut cronins and i keep fucking it up but he seems to be a good sport about it. i argue with him about music more than anyone because we're both pretentious music snobs and we both believe we're right all the time. the only problem with that is, hes wrong a lot.